Home Church Help

Why Home Church?

Home Church provides a simple and wonderful alternative to attending traditional church. The churches in the New Testament were home churches. Throughout the centuries, many people have met in homes. There are millions of people having church in homes today, but you rarely hear of them because they are not advertised or high profile. There are many reasons to have church in homes. Here are a few of the primary reasons:

1. Home church is Biblical.

2. The essence of Christianity is easily accomplished in simple and uncomplicated settings.

3. Group participation with all people functioning should be the primary dynamic of any church meeting (1 Cor. Chapter 14), This is the backbone of the home church setting.

4. Connecting with others and developing meaningful relationships is easily accomplished in a home church atmosphere.

5. “Being the church” and sharing life together in community with others, instead of just attending a meeting, is the desire and purpose of most people who home church.

The challenge to people who want to participate in home church is to be able to “undo” what they’ve been taught church is really all about. Prayer, worship, reading scripture, outreach, encouraging one another, and sharing life together in real and meaningful ways are all part of the home church experience.

What this site is about and How it is Organized

This web site is provided to help those who are wanting more out of church life and more out of Christianity. It has been authored by people who are experienced in home church and who have been active participants in home church for over 30 years now. The authors of this site are not “home church gurus” who have little or no experience, yet set themselves up as authorities on home church. Everything written is from experience and from years of living in community with other families and deep relationships.

This site consist of two types of “articles”. The first are book chapters. The second are posts. Book chapters are listed on the left side of the screen. Book chapters don’t change and new ones are not added. Posts are listed down the center of the screen (you are reading a post now). New posts are added frequently. Older posts that are not more recent, but still relevant, are archived. You can access the archived posts listed by month by clicking the link toward the top right of the screen.

Sign Up To Receive New Posts in Your Mailbox

Sometimes you may forget to check the site. On the top right of the screen you can sign up to receive new posts in your mailbox!

Home Church Discussion

You can comment on any posts. Also feel free to post your general comments  to the discussion link for this site. We are really interested to know your comments and where you are from. You will be joining conversations with other people who are interested in home church like yourself. Thanks so much for sharing your story and asking questions to the house church community.

Book Offers

We would like to say loud and clear that we are not trying to make money by selling books. As mentioned, the books that are offered here are free on this website. But we do encourage people to order paper copies of the books so they will be passed around to friends and family members. We feel that if people have the information in physical book form, many more people will eventually read the material.

This article will be hard to hear for many. Many will disagree with at least some parts. Therefore, I want to preface it with a few statements so that some foundational thoughts will be laid in the mind of the reader as you move through the article.

My wife is a true gift from God. She is beautiful. She is sweet and absolutely wonderful to me. I would not want to go through this life without her. I cherish my wife in every way. She has wisdom from God. She is tremendously gifted. She has mentored many younger ladies. She is a comfort to me during my trials. She often speaks truth to me when I am out of my mind. I enjoy blessing her, giving to her, and helping her with daily tasks. My wife is my best friend. There is no one that loves me and knows me like she does. We make a home together, we have raised four children together, we work together and we enjoy life together. We have been happily married for 35 years. I thank Jesus for giving my wife to me. Please remember these things as we dive into the contents of this article.

The Feminized Man

It is easy for a man in our modern culture to become feminized. A feminized man has given up his normal and natural role of male functioning, male feelings, and male thinking. In many ways, our modern society has determined it is wrong for men to truly be men.

In today’s thinking it is often thought of as “controlling” for a man to be dominant. It can be considered unloving and inconsiderate to lead with confidence and with strength. Modern culture has decided what it means for a man to lay down his life and love his wife – he must follow his wife and give her what she wants. This is not love. The definitions of love and leadership have become twisted.

1Pe 3:7 – “You husbands in the same way, live with your wives in an understanding way, as with someone weaker, since she is a woman; and show her honor as a fellow heir of the grace of life, so that your prayers will not be hindered.”

Peter reminds husbands in the first century that their wives are fellow heirs. Why did he have to do this? Because it can be easy to discount what is weaker. In today’s society, men hardly need to be told that women are fellow heirs. Women are often seen as the stronger vessel.  

Imagine telling a Christian man these days, “Remember that your wife is also a part of God’s plan, she is important too, she is a fellow heir”. Really? Many Christian men see the wife as ALL important. The wife runs the household, the wife keeps the checkbook, the wife pays the bills and handles the family finances. Some men have to ask their wife for permission to spend money for this or that. Some wives give their husbands a financial “allowance”. The wife is often the final authority for decision making for all family matters. She is the gatekeeper and she holds the keys. The modern wife often holds all the power in the family. “Dad, can the kids do this or that? I don’t know, ask your Mom”. Many men can’t make any decisions without asking their wife. The wife is often considered to be smarter, more responsible, more qualified, having more wisdom – the stronger vessel.   

Men are considered the weaker vessel to many. Men are often thought of as not as efficient as women or able to make sound responsible decisions on their own. The man who is committed to “loving” his wife is often docile, passive, and scurries around solely as a wife pleaser because his wife is seen as superior to himself. The church has called this behavior “men loving their wives and laying their lives down”.

A man who follows his wife and gives in to her every want while she leads the household is not a man laying down his life.

1Co 11:8-9 “For man does not originate from woman, but woman from man; for indeed man was not created for the woman’s sake, but woman for the man’s sake.”

Every man has been called with a specific purpose by God. A man is directed by God and led by God to do and accomplish certain things during his life’s span. Every man is given a measure of faith, has been given specific gifts, and has been commissioned and tasked with work to be done on Earth for God’s eternal purposes and for the Kingdom of God. A man’s calling, his work and ministry are a really big deal.  

The woman was created and given to a man to support him in his work and his purposes. Women were created for the sake of men. The word “sake” (Greek word “dia”) means “for the reason of, because of, for the purpose of”. A woman was created to support a man in his purpose and work. Women were given to men for companionship, fellowship, love, friendship, to birth his children, and to work in the man’s home (Titus 2:3-5).

The Bible addresses men 93 times with the term “your household”. Men, everything in your household is yours and is your responsibility. This includes your wife. The furniture is yours. The clothing is yours. The cup in the kitchen cabinet is yours. Everything belongs to you. Your wife has been given to you to help you for your purposes. If your wife is sick and can’t work, you have to take care of her duties, because it’s yours. Not because she told you to do it.

Imagine that you owned a restaurant, and you had employees that you had hired (for your sake) to take care of all the tasks. If an employee become sick one day or they quit, you have to take care of the work. You have to show up and do the dishes. As a man, you need to possess your household and take ownership so that you can see the roles and functions of you and your wife in the proper light. 

Of course, you probably feel like your wife owns half of your possessions. This is because you invited her and gave them to her. You invited her to share your household with you when you asked her to marry you. She has joined you with what you are doing. She lost her last name at marriage and took your last name. If her life before marriage were represented by a car she was driving, she left the car she was driving by herself and she got in the car you are driving. She became a part of your household based on your invitation.

Perhaps you and your wife have both worked and built your home together. Realize that your wife was created and given to you for your sake. She is your helper. You are not her helper (although you willingly help her at times). The work, labor, money, and possessions that your wife has contributed to build your shared home together has really been your wife contributing to build “your home”. Lovingly, you share it with her and you consider it “our home”, but ultimately you are responsible. She has been given to you as a helper for your sake.   

I encourage you to possess your household. What does it mean to possess something? You own it. You wear it. You feel the weight of it. You put your hands on it and pull it to yourself and say, “this has been given to me, it is mine. I am also responsible for every aspect of it.” Walk around your house and look at it. Walk around your property. The Lord gave this to you. It is yours. You have invited your wife to share it with you. You invited her to take the role of perhaps cooking, cleaning, doing laundry, buying the groceries. But these are only roles. Ultimately, it is 100% your responsibility as the man to make sure the laundry is done and the house is cleaned. What a sweet wife you have if she is willing to perform those duties for you!

Before your wife married you, she was in her father’s household and she belonged to him. When she married you, she left her father and joined your household and took your name. She no longer has her father’s name. She has been given to you for your sake and for your purposes. This is why you must remember that she is a fellow heir of the grace of life. This is why you must remember to lay your life down and love her (more on this in a moment).

What about a woman’s calling and purpose in the Kingdom of God? Women certainly have callings from God, ministry, and functions in the church. But if a woman is married, her first calling is to the needs and leadings of her husband.

Eph 5:23 – “For the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ also is the head of the church, He Himself being the Savior of the body.”

A man is called to shepherd and lead his wife as her head. This is not a co-leadership position. As a man, you are responsible to teach the Bible to your wife. You are responsible to care for her emotionally, physically and spiritually. She is yours. You are her head. You are to shepherd your wife. You should know what spiritual books your wife is reading. You should guide and shepherd her regarding what teachings she recently heard. Is this controlling? No. It is shepherding. It is love. What if you disagree with certain points that another man made during a teaching or message you both heard together? Your wife should be in agreement with you first, not the pastor. You are her head. The pastor is not her head.

If you want to know the proper roles of a husband and a wife, look at Christ and the church.

Eph 5:22-33 “Wives, be subject to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ also is the head of the church, He Himself being the Savior of the body. But as the church is subject to Christ, so also the wives ought to be to their husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her, so that He might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, that He might present to Himself the church in all her glory, having no spot or wrinkle or any such thing; but that she would be holy and blameless. So husbands ought also to love their own wives as their own bodies. He who loves his own wife loves himself; for no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ also does the church, because we are members of His body. For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and shall be joined to his wife and the two shall become one flesh. This mystery is great; but I am speaking with reference to Christ and the church. Nevertheless, each individual among you also is to love his own wife even as himself, and the wife must see to it that she respects her husband.”

Ephesians 5 tells us that the marriage between a husband and a wife is a picture of the real – Christ and the church. Apart from worship, the way that Jesus and the church relate are exactly the way a husband and wife are to relate to each other. Is it proper for the church to correct Jesus? Is it fitting for Christ to follow the church? Is it right for the church to tell Jesus what He should do and when He should do it?

We were created for the sake and purposes of Jesus, not the other way around. The church follows Christ. Jesus does not follow the church. Jesus and the church are not co-leaders. One is the head, the other is the follower.

Do your roles and the way you relate in your marriage mirror that of Christ and the church? People usually respond with, “But men are not Christ. Men are fallible and Christ is not. I can’t expect my wife to follow me all the time because I am a fallible man”.

True. Men are flawed and are with error. But flawed husbands are still the head of their wife.

Let me remind you of Eph 5:24

“But as the church is subject to Christ, so also the wives ought to be to their husbands in everything.”

Everything. Everything includes when a man leads with an idea that was a mistake.

I have never told my wife in 35 years to “submit to me”. The verse above is written to the ladies. Nowhere does the Bible tell men to enforce the submission of their wives. I highly recommend you allow the Lord and the other ladies your wife is in fellowship with to instruct your wife regarding submission.

1Pe 3:1 “In the same way, you wives, be submissive to your own husbands so that even if any of them are disobedient to the word, they may be won without a word by the behavior of their wives,”

Notice in Eph 5:24 and 1 Peter 3:1 that a wife’s submission to her husband is not contingent on him being right or her agreeing that his leading is of God. Just like the church doesn’t decide to follow Christ “if she agrees”.

Because men are fallible and can make poor choices, many men have abdicated their role as head of their wife. Many women also reserve the right not to follow their husbands for the same reason. Many women do not submit to “everything”. They especially will not submit if they don’t agree with their husband’s leading (disobedient to the word).

If we only submit when we agree, it is not really submission at all.

The roles in a marriage are the same as the roles as Christ and the church. As mentioned before however, women are not to worship their husbands as the church worships Christ.

It is great if your wife has suggestions and ideas for how to run the home or what needs to happen regarding this or that. But you are the head. Take your wife’s ideas and suggestions and consider them before God. But don’t follow her ideas blindly just because she said it. Possess your household. Possess your ministry and your work. Possess your plans and your daily tasks. You as the man, are the head of your wife. She is not to order you around. You are not “her boy”. You are not her errand runner. You are not at her beck and call. Your wife should not “tell you” the list of things that you need to do in a day. She is not the manager in charge. You are. She is here for your sake. You are not here for her sake.

If this seems difficult for you because of the nature of your current relationship with your wife, it is because you have given your wife power over you that you should not have given her. You need to take it back. Your wife is not over you, in any way. She is not superior. She is not your head in any regard or in any area. She is not your mother. You are the man, and she is your wife that you have taken along with you on your journey to serve God.

1Co 9:5 “Do we not have a right to take along a believing wife, even as the rest of the apostles and the brothers of the Lord and Cephas?”

Notice the language here in 1 Cor 9. You are taking a wife “along with you” with what you are doing. Your life is not about what your wife wants, her plans, her preferences, her agendas. Although we are told to lay our lives down for our wife and love her, this doesn’t mean that our life becomes what she wants. You have things that you are called to do and your wife is given to you to go with you in your work.

1Co 7:29 “But this I say, brethren, the time has been shortened, so that from now on those who have wives should be as though they had none.”

Is Paul saying that married men should ignore their wives and live as though they are single men? No. But he is saying that a man’s life should not be completely wrapped up in his wife. Love your wife, give to her, lead her, enjoy her – but remember that you have very important work in the Kingdom of God that you are called to. Stay sober and alert. Your first calling is not to cater to your wife’s needs. She is only a woman. She is not God. Remember Adam’s sin. He left God and followed his wife. Eve became the leader and Adam followed her, introducing sin into the entire human race.

Invite your wife to join with you as you fulfill your work and your ministry. At times, you are to lay down what you are doing (your life) in order to meet the needs of your wife. The frequency of laying down your life will vary from season to season depending on the need. But as a general guideline, how often should you love your wife and lay your life down for her? Often, would be the norm.

Most days I do something kind for my wife, sometimes many things. She has plenty of gardening projects and things to do on our little farm that she asks for help with. When she requests something, I realize that I don’t have to do it. But most of the time I choose to lay aside something else I am doing in order to love her and give to her.

This is an important distinction. Because your wife is not your task master, every request she has should not be an automatic “yes” inside of you. Although you may do things for her as often as you would if it were an automatic yes, you should feel and experience yourself laying your life down and choosing to give (if that is how God is leading you in any given situation).

1Pe 3:6 “just as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord, and you have become her children if you do what is right without being frightened by any fear.”

This verse is written to women. Sarah called her husband lord (small “L”). For centuries women have referred to the man of the house as “my lord”. Lord simply means “the one with the authority, master, ruler”. The man is the master of his household. The man is the head of the wife. Christ is the head of the man.

A man and a woman in just about any other time era than today would be appalled at how men and women relate to each other in modern Western culture.

You Should Not Be Ordered Around By Your Wife

During the first few years of our marriage, my wife and I were learning our roles and how to relate to one another. Some of these were tough times. We were young at the time and we didn’t have a lot of healthy examples from the way we were raised.

On one occasion, my wife said to me, “You need to pick up that diaper”. I paused because something just didn’t seem right. This type of language from your wife may sound innocent enough to the modern man, but to me it did not. Something wasn’t right about this statement. As we discussed it, I explained to my lovely sweet wife that I would much prefer that she “ask” me to do this or that. I don’t want to take marching orders from my wife because it is not fitting. “Do you mind picking up the diaper?” “Sure I will”. Much better.

Eph 5:33 “Nevertheless, each individual among you also is to love his own wife even as himself, and the wife must see to it that she respects her husband.”

You might not find it disrespectful to be told what to do from your wife, but you should. As a man, if you had your roles correct and saw things properly, you should cringe if your wife were to boss you around. Do you think the church should tell Jesus, “You need to do this”? Obviously a husband is not the same as Jesus. However, the roles are the same. It is not proper for the church to tell her Head (Jesus) what to do. Nor is it proper for a wife to tell her husband (her head) what to do. Rather, we ask our head. If we don’t like something, we appeal. We learn to have a conversation but without leaving our place. The same thing applies to a marriage. An appeal from a wife to a husband is a beautiful thing. In order to appeal to her husband during a difficult request, a wife might say, “Can you please help me to understand your leading in this situation? I want to join with you but I am having a hard time understanding where you are coming from.”

Be Subject One to Another

After reading passages like Ephesians 5:22 which say “wives are to be subject to their husbands”, men are always quick to point out these days that “we are to be subject to one another” quoting Ephesians 5:21. Meaning, that husbands should also be subject to their wives. This is very incorrect.

First of all, notice what Paul does immediately after he says, “be subject one to another”. He addresses the wives specifically to avoid any confusion.

Eph 5:21-22 “and be subject to one another in the fear of Christ. Wives, be subject to your own husbands, as to the Lord.

He does not tell the husband to be subject to his wife. A man is to be subject to his own wife as much as Christ is subject to the church.

You must understand the Eastern mind during the time of the writings of the Bible. The letters in the New Testament and the instructions in them are often directed toward the men. When specific directions for the sisters are needed, they are addressed separately (1 Cor. 14:34, 1 Ti. 2:9, 1 Ti. 2:15, 1 Ti. 3:11, Titus 2:3, 1 Pet. 3:5).

This does not mean that all the things written in the Bible only apply to men and not to the ladies too. But the primary audience was the brothers. The wives belonged to the brothers and were along with them. Another man is never to instruct your wife. A “pastor” should never provide leadership to another man’s wife. This is the role of the husband of that woman. In essence, if a man is speaking publicly to men and women, he is speaking to the men. The men are then to interpret, filter, and shepherd their wife individually with what they need to hear and take away regarding the message spoken. The head of the wife is her husband, not a pastor or any other man. The apostle Paul was not the head of other men’s wives.  

Mat 14:21 “There were about five thousand men who ate, besides women and children.”

Back to the issue of mutual submission. In Eph 5, After the brothers are told to be subject one to another, specific directions are given in the next verse regarding the women’s role of submission.

Eph 5:21-22 and be subject to one another in the fear of Christ. Wives, be subject to your own husbands, as to the Lord.

Notice the clarification given here. The role that men are given as head of the wife does not fit with men submitting or being subject to their wife. The brothers are to be subject to one another. The wives are to be subject to their husbands.

God has placed in nature his order and his eternal truths. Every time a woman corrects her husband and talks down to him, to some degree the man naturally cringes in his gut and is offended (at least he should). He may not show it, but it is a natural response. God gave an internal compass. Every time a man observes a woman in public trying to act like a man and lead with dominance, every man is repulsed. Men may not show it because we have all been trained to not react. But the repulsion is there inside every man (depending on their degree of being feminized). When a man acts effeminate, it is nauseating to other men (unless they are feminized too).

God spoke out of his very nature and the world was created. Throughout creation in the animal kingdom, typically the male of any species is the more majestic of the two genders. Male animals tend to have more brilliant colors, more striking features, and more stately appearances than the female species. Why? Perhaps God who spoke into existence all creation is saying something.

Are women “less than”? Absolutely not. Are women second class citizens? No. Are women door mats? No. Please don’t hear that. God repeatedly puts and exclamation point on the value and extreme importance of women all throughout scripture. Likewise, the church is beautiful, glorious, loved, cherished, and highly valued. But Jesus is the head of the church. The way of Satan and the flesh is to call the truth a lie and a lie the truth. Satan turns everything backwards and upside down in order to destroy and pervert.  

Rom 1:26-27 “For this reason God gave them over to degrading passions; for their women exchanged the natural function for that which is unnatural, and in the same way also the men abandoned the natural function of the woman and burned in their desire toward one another, men with men committing indecent acts and receiving in their own persons the due penalty of their error.”

The natural function of a man and a woman certainly include sexual roles as we see here. But there are also natural functions of men and women which include roles within the home, leadership responsibilities, and how each gender emotionally processes and responds to the world around them. These dynamics have become flipped and are now backwards in many households. Men are becoming more like women. Women are becoming more like men.

What are some of the root causes of the feminized man?  

The feminized man is usually confused and lacking in his perspective of roles and what it means to love. This problem begins at an early age in the male and it is often passed on to the next generation.

The following explanation is a major cause of the deficits in the modern male:

Perhaps you have seen the movie, “Saving Private Ryan”. On the beach of Normandy France, there are scenes of soldiers being shot and laying on the beach dying in horrific pain and suffering. Some of the soldiers would call out, “Mamma”. These are grown men trained for battle.

This is actually a common response in men who are experiencing deep pain and trauma.  I personally have not experienced being shot and bleeding with my guts hanging out. I admit that I cannot predict what my response would be. I have however experienced significant physical pain and distress throughout my life, as most have. But why would a grown man call out for his mother during great pain and distress in his time of dying?

Because intense suffering has a way of regressing you to your primal instincts. Most men found comfort in their mother when they were a child. Momma was a source of nurturing and safety.

However, a boy is supposed to transition from his mother’s world into his father’s world as he matures. Sometime around the ages of 10-13, a young man should move into a deeper connection with his father and leave the safety and dependency he had as a little child on his mother. This vital transition is becoming lost in our modern age.

A boy will naturally begin to resist the discipline of his mother around this age. He is naturally becoming a man. His father should now be the one to discipline him and train him. He has left the world of the feminine. He is now in the world of the male. As he begins to strongly identify with his father, the boy begins to think like his father, feel like his father and act like his father.

A boy’s father also becomes his source as he becomes weaned from the world of his mother. His father becomes his source of strength, identity, affirmation, and COMFORT. Fathers should physically touch their boys. They should be affectionate. They should wrestle around, hug, work together, play together and talk together about everything.

Men who did not properly experience this transition into the male world when they were young, are often missing many critical psychological perspectives of men and women’s roles and sometimes male identity. Let’s look at some of the repercussions.

Women can seem threatening.

If a man doesn’t know that a woman is a weaker vessel and that he is her head, he can easily feel threatened by his wife or women in general.

Men who transition properly with their father into the male world tend to see women correctly. Women are a wonderful blessing and a gift from God! But a woman is not above a man in any way. A woman is no threat because she is not more powerful than a man, physically or emotionally.

Women are THE source of comfort.

Sexual addictions and pornography are often rooted in men seeing the feminine world as their source of comfort. Remember the suffering soldiers. When humans are stressed, depressed, empty, lonely, discouraged, or in pain; people run to the places they remember are sources of comfort. Often, men who have sexual addictions are actually seeking comfort in the world of the female. They have still not transitioned to their father as source. Pornography places women above men as a source. Your Father is your source of comfort, not your mother or any other woman. 

Can a wife be a source of comfort? Yes. A wife is a partner who is soft and beautiful. She is a friend to talk to and a place of rest. But she is a secondary place. Your wife is not your primary place of comfort or rest. If you run to your wife always as your first source for what you need, you are going to wind up putting her in a place that is unhealthy for both of you. 

Gender Confusion

The development of homosexuality can be a complex process with many causes. Not to oversimplify it; many men become homosexual because they are still longing for the male world. Yet, because they did not transition into the male world and “become” a man themselves, they still feel like a little child. A little child can seem feminine, although the little child persona is really only a lack of strong male qualities (not necessarily feminine). The adult male who did not become a man in his self-identity can confuse the lack of male feelings as being feminine (he feels like a girl).  At the same time, he often longs for the male world outside of himself. Such feelings that are inside of a vessel with adult sexual desires often winds up confused and thinking of himself as homosexual.

Women are to be resisted (fighting).

Your wife is not your mother. You are not her “boy” who is at her beck and call. When a man subtly feels like his wife is a type of mother figure, he ends up either following her or resisting her (like a 12 year old boy would). There is no reason to resist your wife. She needs to be loved and led. You are called to shepherd her, not resist her.

Women are really superior to men.

Perhaps you are convinced that your wife is smarter and better at things than you are. Maybe she is. Your wife may have some great abilities, but she is still a weaker vessel and you are her head. Be careful of listening to your wife first above the voice of your Father, even though she has amazing gifts and talents. You should listen for God first. God very well may speak through your wife. But if you listen to what your wife says immediately because you see her as more capable, you will end up following her and abdicating your position as head.

Gen 3:17 – Then to Adam He said, “Because you have listened to the voice of your wife, and have eaten from the tree about which I commanded you, saying, ‘You shall not eat from it’; Cursed is the ground because of you; In toil you will eat of it all the days of your life.

“I am called to lay my life down for my wife”.

Of course you are. This is a true statement. But you must have a life first before you can lay it down. If you STAY laid down, you are not laying your life down at all, you have abdicated and have left your role as head and shepherd. When it comes to relating to their wife, many men live continually on their backs laying on the ground with their hands and feet pointed straight up in the air, calling out “Momma, Momma, what can I do to please you? Can I have permission to do this or that? Can I please have some allowance money this week?”  

What does it mean to love our wives as Christ loved the church?

The purpose here is not to discuss child raising, but it’s a good example. If a child were defiantly stealing matches and trying to light the house on fire, it certainly would not be loving to let the child burn the house down. Everyone would agree with taking the matches away. But in order to truly love and lead the child, we must go further.

Love, at times may give someone what they want, but love will always give someone what they truly need. It is not loving to just take the matches away from the child. In order to love the child, the child’s unbroken will and motivations of defiance must be addressed and dealt with. “Time outs”, taking away personal items and privileges do not usually deal with the causes of the problem. These are only mild behavioral modification techniques. Time out teaches the child, “if you are bad, you get isolation”. This is not the truth of how our heavenly Father deals with us when we choose poorly. If we sin, we are not isolated from God or our brothers and sisters.

Love goes further than just ignoring, distracting, or changing the situation. Love breaks the will. Then with intimate and gentle intrusiveness, love deals with the problem of the root issues. Love replaces root issues with new foundations (new heart attitudes) and trains new behaviors. Love and leadership builds and shapes character, it doesn’t just modify behavior.

Obviously, a man’s wife is not a child. She is an adult and a “fellow heir of the grace of life”, but many of the same points apply. Your wife may want this or that. But does she need it? How does this affect the household? Is this what the family needs? How does your wife’s current want – fit with what God is saying and how He is leading you? Remember, your wife is here for you, not you for her. But you must also remember to love her and lay your life down for her. If her current “want” is not really fitting with the direction you are going, it is fine to say “no”. However, at times you may need to “lay down” what your current plans and agenda may be in order to love your wife.

Sometimes, I lay down my life by giving my wife something completely frivolous and not needed at all, but it is something that she wants. She didn’t really need the thing that I gave her, but she needed to feel loved and given to. 

Concluding Recommendations

The information in this letter can be dangerous. Please don’t read this and start making changes right away. Ponder these things in your heart with God. Read the scriptures and slowly assimilate these things into your thinking. Don’t make any outward changes until the inward changes first.

If you currently have an unpleasant relationship with your wife, don’t focus on her being the problem. Don’t try to make her submit. The problem may be with you. You have either taught her how to relate to you or you have allowed it. You must focus on your own change first, and for a long time. Possess your household. Begin to wear inside of your heart who you are as a man. Walk slowly, quietly and with poised inner strength. You rarely need to use your strength. But you always feel it and wear it.

View your wife correctly (without saying anything to her about it). Learn to observe and not react. Observe how she talks to you when it is off-putting, but don’t respond out of a reaction. Be very gentle with your wife. She is the weaker one.

Many ladies are insecure and afraid. Their personalities of dominance are usually formed out of fear responses. Fear that they won’t be taken care of, fear the won’t be loved, etc. Your wife is very much like a little girl in her heart. Sometimes, she is a scared little girl. At the bottom of her heart, she wants to follow. She wants to be led by a strong man. This makes her feel safe and loved. When her man is not leading there is a void. This tempts her to fear. When there is a void of leadership, a woman will often step in to lead. When she leads, the man either follows her or he resists her leadership. But the problem will largely be taken care of if the man would only lead his wife.

You are the stronger vessel. Don’t ever use that strength to blow her out of the water. Use your power and strength to be still inside when she reacts. You need to learn to take a punch. When scared little girls react, they can “act” aggressive and dominant. Just smile inside and be quiet. Offer your wife a hug instead of sharp words. Love her and be a rock-solid place of security for your lovely wife.

-Terry Stanley

“Come to Me, all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest. “Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and YOU WILL FIND REST FOR YOUR SOULS. “For My yoke is easy and My burden is light.” Mat 11:28-30

The flesh consistently makes Christianity into a system or a procedure as we depersonalize our relationship with Jesus Christ.

Many times, instead of engaging in a relationship with Christ, we substitute the following in its place:

– A “Christian” lifestyle.

– Attending meetings.

– Spending time with God becomes a chore or a task.

– Focusing on truth alone.

– Believing that “God is good with me”, as a license to neglect relationship with Him.

– Working for God instead of relationship with Him.

– We focus on “what I need to do better or more” instead of just coming to Him.

 – We focus on Him fixing our problems or changing our situation instead of relationship.

We sometimes avoid God because:

    – We are not understanding or believing the good news, applying it to ourselves, right now.

    –  We want to do want we want to do (independence).

Questions:

Are there any other examples you can think of in which we depersonalize our relationship with Christ?

What helps you come to Him during the moments of your day?

What keeps you coming back to Him?

We See Jesus. Behold who He is while in prayer and in worship. Come to Him and begin being with Him by seeing Him and becoming aware of Him first, not with your prayer list of needs.

Eph 1:18 – I pray that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened, so that you will know what is the hope of His calling, what are the riches of the glory of His inheritance in the saints,

Psa 42:7 “Deep calls to deep at the sound of Your waterfalls; All Your breakers and Your waves have rolled over me.”

Psa 131:2 “Surely I have composed and quieted my soul; Like a weaned child rests against his mother, My soul is like a weaned child within me.”

Psa 16:11 – “You will make known to me the path of life; In Your presence is fullness of joy; In Your right hand there are pleasures forever.”

2Co 3:16-18  but whenever a person turns to the Lord, the veil is taken away. 17 Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, [there] is liberty. 18 But we all, with unveiled face, beholding as in a mirror the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from glory to glory, just as from the Lord, the Spirit.

Jhn 6:40 For this is the will of My Father, that everyone who beholds the Son and believes in Him will have eternal life, and I Myself will raise him up on the last day.”

Heb 12:2 fixing our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of faith, who for the joy set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.

Seeing Him heals us and changes us.

This is the incredible testimony of Daniel Wrentz who was delivered from 30 years of torture by the power of darkness.  Download Here

During this time of elections in the United States, there are many Christians who are heavily involved in political issues and the potential implications of the elections. There are many concerns in the world today which has stirred many people to become very involved.

The following ideas and scriptures are presented to address the issues at hand. My prayer is that you would hear the voice of the Holy Spirit while reading in order that you would stand firm in your faith (Eph. 6:13).

There are Two Realms and Two Kingdoms

Jhn 18:36 “Jesus answered, “My kingdom is not of this world. If My kingdom were of this world, then My servants would be fighting so that I would not be handed over to the Jews; but as it is, My kingdom is not of this realm.”

Most Christians would agree that there is a separation between the kingdom of this world and the Kingdom of Jesus Christ. Satan is referred to as “the god of this world” in 2 Cor. 4:4.

Rev 11:15 “Then the seventh angel sounded; and there were loud voices in heaven, saying, “The kingdom of the world has become the kingdom of our Lord and of His Christ; and He will reign forever and ever.”

As we see in Revelations 11, at the end of the age Jesus will reign on earth after the kingdom of this world becomes the kingdom of God. However, this has not happened yet.  

Heb 2:8 “You have put all things in subjection under His feet. For in subjecting all things to Him, He left nothing that is not subject to Him. But now we do not yet see all things subjected to Him.”

In the future, when the kingdom of this world here on Earth becomes the kingdom of Jesus, we will see all things subjected to Jesus.

The realm of Earth is not the realm of the kingdom of God. All things on Earth are not submitted to Jesus at this point in time. Therefore, Earth is still Satan’s domain for the time being.

What are the implications of the fact that there are two kingdoms and two separate realms? How are Christians to relate to the kingdom of this world? And perhaps the most relevant question, are we as Christians supposed to affect change in the kingdom of this world, and if so, how are we to do that?

 Your Citizenship Affects You

As a citizen of the United States, how concerned are you about the elections in say, the country of Italy this year? Were you aware that there were national elections in Italy? Have you been following the candidates in Italy? Are you aware of their politics? Probably not, you don’t live in Italy and you are not a citizen of Italy. The election outcomes of Italy will not affect you, so…you probably don’t really care.

Phl 3:19-20 “…who set their minds on earthly things. For our citizenship is in heaven, from which also we eagerly wait for a Savior, the Lord Jesus Christ;”

A Christian’s citizenship is in heaven, which is contrasted in the verse above with having your mind on earthly things. Just like the citizens of the U.S. are not setting their minds on the Italian elections – citizens of heaven do not set their minds on earthly things. The citizens of the United States are not longing and hoping for a certain person to become president in Italy. Nor are the citizens of heaven longing and hoping for a certain man to become president anywhere on Earth. Instead, Phil. 3:19 says that the citizens of heaven are eagerly waiting for Jesus to save them.   

Heb 11:13-16 “All these died in faith, without receiving the promises, but having seen them and having welcomed them from a distance, and having confessed that they were strangers and exiles on the earth.  For those who say such things make it clear that they are seeking a country of their own. And indeed if they had been thinking of that country from which they went out, they would have had opportunity to return. But as it is, they desire a better country, that is, a heavenly one. Therefore God is not ashamed to be called their God; for He has prepared a city for them.”

Notice here that the Godly people of faith who are listed in Heb. 11 considered themselves to be strangers and exiles on the earth. Why? Because they were not at home here. They were seeking a heavenly country to call their home.  They did not identify themselves as belonging to any physical country on Earth, otherwise they would have returned to their home country.

2Ti 2:4 “No soldier in active service entangles himself in the affairs of everyday life, so that he may please the one who enlisted him as a soldier.”

Christians are enlisted soldiers in active service. The Lord Jesus has enlisted all Christians into his army. As soldiers of God, as citizens of Heaven and of a heavenly country, why are Christians so involved in another country’s politics and affairs?  

How Does God View the Nations of the World?

Isa 40:15 “Behold, the nations are like a drop from a bucket, and are regarded as a speck of dust on the scales…”

Job 12:23-25 “He makes the nations great, then destroys them; He enlarges the nations, then leads them away. “He deprives of intelligence the chiefs of the earth’s people and makes them wander in a pathless waste. “They grope in darkness with no light, And He makes them stagger like a drunken man.”

Do you ever wonder why politicians seem so out of touch with reality? Just read the verse above. Whether it be the country of Italy, Sudan, Yemen, Spain, or the United States of America – all countries fit into the two descriptions above in Isa. 40 and Job 12.

God Chooses Governing Authorities

Rom 13:1 “Every person is to be in subjection to the governing authorities. For there is no authority except from God, and those which exist are established by God.”

We see from God’s perspective how He views the nations of this world. But we also see that it is God Himself who establishes leadership in government.   

Proverbs 21:1, “The king’s heart is in the hand of the LORD, Like the rivers of water; He turns it wherever He wishes.”

Daniel 4:17 “the Most High rules in the kingdom of men, gives it to whomever He will, and sets over it the lowest of men.”

At times in scripture, God would appoint evil governors to punish unfaithful nations. God used Babylon to judge Israel when Israel wandered away from Him. He used Pharaoh of Egypt to show his power to deliver, and to demonstrate his reward for evil.

Speaking of Pharaoh:

Exodus 9:16, “… indeed for this purpose I have raised you up, that I may show My power in you, and that My name may be declared in all the earth.”

If you knew God was totally in charge of choosing the government leaders of another country that you were not even a citizen of, how concerned and involved would you become in those affairs? If you knew that God Himself was going to choose the leader of the country of Aruba (of which you are not a citizen of anyway), how much care and energy would you spend being involved with the politics of Aruba?

What Are Christians to Be Concerned With?

Rom 14:17 For the kingdom of God is not meat and drink; but righteousness, and peace, and joy in the Holy Ghost.

The Kingdom of God is not of this earthly realm. In Rom. 14:17, we see that the kingdom of God is actually defined as things that are only found in the Holy Spirit.  

Mat 4:19 “And He said to them, “Follow Me, and I will make you fishers of men.”

Jesus tells us to be fishers of men. He never instructed his disciples to affect change through the politics of the Roman empire, to seek a change in Roman leadership, or through other human institutions.

1Ti 6:11 “But flee from these things, you man of God, and pursue righteousness, godliness, faith, love, perseverance and gentleness.”

What are Christians to do with their time and energy? The list above is a good list of things that Christians are to spend time in pursuit of.

There are very few scriptures that address how Christians are to relate to authority in government (we will look at the few in just a second). There are no instructions in scripture that tell Christians to put forth enormous amounts of time and energy into affecting change in the political arena. The territory we are to affect change in, is directly into the lives of people. Christian’s are told to make disciples of Jesus. Our arena of change is the hearts of men.

We are to preach the gospel and make disciples of Jesus. We are not given much instruction at all to affect change on the earth via politics. The amount of attention many Christians give to politics is out of proportion to the attention given to it in scripture.  

This World is Evil and Is Passing Away

1Jo 2:17 “The world is passing away, and also its lusts; but the one who does the will of God lives forever.”

2Pe 3:13 “But according to His promise we are looking for new heavens and a new earth, in which righteousness dwells.”

Christians who are trying to salvage this world or change the world systems and make it a better place are engaging in a futile battle. This world will be destroyed and a new heaven and earth will be created.

It is not God’s way to fix and repair broken things. He kills corrupt things and then creates something new.

Gal 2:20 “I have been crucified with Christ…

2Co 5:17 “Therefore if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creature; the old things passed away; behold, new things have come.”

Rev 21:1 “Then I saw a new heaven and a new earth; for the first heaven and the first earth passed away, and there is no longer any sea.”

Political Leaders Who are Not Born Again Are Evil

Jhn 8:44 “You are of your father the devil, and you want to do the desires of your father….”

Sorry to say, but if your president or government leader of choice is not born of God’s Spirit, his father is the devil and he is an evil man.

God will use the people He places in authority to accomplish His eternal purposes. He also uses Satan for his own purposes. But, Christians who get behind a certain political figure and subtly believe “he is the good guy” because of where their candidate stands on certain issues, should realize that if he is not a born-again follower of Christ, then he is wicked. 

A Deeper Spiritual Issue

Luk 12:15 “Then He said to them, “Beware, and be on your guard against every form of greed; for not even when one has an abundance does his life consist of his possessions.”

Mat 6:25 “For this reason I say to you, do not be worried about your life, as to what you will eat or what you will drink; nor for your body, as to what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing?”

Jesus tells us that our life is not dependent on things of Earth. Perhaps some think that if the “wrong guy gets elected, it’s going to hit us where it hurts.”     

Col 3:4 “When Christ, who is our life, is revealed, then you also will be revealed with Him in glory.”

If the wrong guy gets elected, how will it affect you? It depends on what your life is. If your life is Christ, then you are unaffected by political leadership and the decisions they make.

The kingdom of God is not affected by who the president is. It is not affected by the economy, by tax rates, by rioting, or by wars. The gates of hell will not prevail against the church. The Lord’s plans on the Earth will be accomplished.

If you are persecuted, tortured, and murdered by the government, your life is hidden in Christ and your spirit is unaffected and cannot be touched.

Tyranny and Oppressive Leaders

What about tyranny and oppression? What if the government tries to force us into slavery or seize our property? What about our rights?

Heb 10:34 “For you showed sympathy to the prisoners and accepted joyfully the seizure of your property, knowing that you have for yourselves a better possession and a lasting one.”

During this time of persecution of Christians, their possessions were taken from them. Yet, they allowed it to happen with joy. What if the U.S. government forced citizens to leave their homes and live in government camps? Would you turn your house into a military fort, arm your family with guns, and shoot those who came to force you out of your house?   

Obey God Rather Than Men

Acts 5:29 “We must obey God, rather than men”.

In this passage, the legal authority told Peter not to preach Jesus. Peter states that God’s directions must be kept even when man’s laws oppose them.

For example, God has told us to assemble together as Christians. If the government tells us not to assemble, we obey God and assemble anyway, in secret if necessary. There are a number of issues that fall into this category. Christians don’t support gay marriage. Marriage is created by God. There is no such thing as a gay marriage. We condemn the practice of homosexuality, even if the government approves of it.

However, there is no commandment of God that tells Christians to hold on to and fight for possessions, homes, or even our lives. In fact, He directs us with the opposite:

Act 8:32, Isa. 53:7 “He was oppressed and He was afflicted, Yet He did not open His mouth; Like a lamb that is led to slaughter, And like a sheep that is silent before its shearers, So He did not open His mouth.”

This is referring to Jesus. He did not defend Himself or fight for His life when he was unjustly sentenced to die.

As a Christian, ultimately you have no rights. When you became a Christian, you gave up your rights in this earthly realm and you died. You were re-born as a citizen of heaven in order to obey God for eternity. During your time on Earth as a Christian, you are to expect suffering, persecution, harsh treatment, and hatred by the world. You may even be put to death because of your faith.

There are plenty of verses that explain this:

Col. 3:3, Rom. 8:17, 2 Cor. 1:6, 2 Tim. 2:3, 1 Pet. 2:20, Rev. 2:10, Rev. 12:11

Phl 1:29 “For to you it has been granted for Christ’s sake, not only to believe in Him, but also to suffer for His sake”.

Dual Citizenship

As Christians, our citizenship is in the kingdom of Jesus Christ. Our heavenly country is our first priority and it is the focus of our lives. At the same time, we do live inside these bodies, in which we also happen to live inside some governmental country here on the Earth.

1Pe 2:17 “Honor all people, love the brotherhood, fear God, honor the king.”

1Ti 2:1-2 “First of all, then, I urge that entreaties and prayers, petitions and thanksgivings, be made on behalf of all men, for kings and all who are in authority, so that we may lead a tranquil and quiet life in all godliness and dignity.”

We see from the verses above that we are to show honor to the king of whatever earthly country we are living in. It is also desirable for Christians to be able lead a tranquil and quiet life in dignity. This is the reason we are to pray for those in authority. For example, it is desirable and preferable that we be able to assemble without persecution.

The apostle Paul speaks in Acts 25:

Acts 25:11, “For if I am an offender, or have committed anything deserving of death, I do not object to dying; but if there is nothing in these things of which these men accuse me, no one can deliver me to them. I appeal to Caesar.”

While Paul was under arrest, he asked to appeal to Caesar instead of being put to death. Paul was in a situation in which he could use the current governmental laws to avoid being killed. This may sound contradictory to Jesus being put to death as a lamb led to slaughter.

In the case of Jesus, He was obviously obeying His Father and doing the will of God. He was fulfilling the prophecy in Isaiah 53, that stated, “He did not open His mouth”. We must always obey God, no matter the consequences.

Is it therefore wrong to use the government’s laws to avoid death or persecution? Not in Paul’s case as seen above in Acts 25.  Coupling Paul’s example with the heart of the passage in 1 Tim. 2:1-2: If entreaties, prayers, petitions are to be made, in order for Christians to be able to lead a life of tranquility and dignity, then it would certainly seem allowable to cast a vote (if possible) that may lead to ending abortion or lessoning persecution.    

However, Christians must realize that voting and involvement in politics is not our primary arena to bring about change. When Christians predominantly focus on the political arena in order to prevent suffering, persecution, or affect change they have abandoned the means by which they are most effective.

Christian power and the ability to wield Christian influence is in the gospel of Jesus. Our power is in the ability to love. These two things bring the kingdom of God on the Earth into the hearts of men and women.

It Is much better to see the mother of an unwanted child come to Jesus, than to only create legislation to prevent her from an abortion. Jesus dealt with people directly to change them from the inside. He did not lobby the Roman government in order to bring about change.

Dominion Theology and Reconstructionism

Dominion theology is often used interchangeably with the term “reconstructionism”. These philosophies originate from Genesis 1:28.

Gen 1:28 “And God blessed them, and God said unto them, Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth, and subdue it: and have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over every living thing that moveth upon the earth.”

The idea of dominion theology is that Christians should subdue, and therefore influence all areas of society. This includes all areas in the corporate world, social arenas, and government. Those who subscribe to dominion theology believe that it is God’s command that Christians bring the kingdom of God on earth through business, politics, and social influence.

I cannot get into the many details and angles of dominion theology philosophy here, as it is extensive. To attempt to state it succinctly, dominion theology is rooted in an affinity and propensity for natural and physical proliferation (primarily through old covenant principles) of the kingdom of God, as opposed to spiritual proliferation of the kingdom of God via new covenant teachings. Genesis 1:28 commands us to take dominion over the animals. It does not imply that Christians are to rule and reign in politics and government.

Christians who subscribe to dominion theology (or elements of it) believe that Christians should infiltrate the government and pursue public offices in order to bring about Godly laws with the goal of creating a Christian society. This should not be the Christian’s cause due to the many reasons already explained. When Christ returns and establishes His rule on the Earth, only then we will see all the Earth subdued and submitted to Christ. This is something God does, not man.

To understand the foundations of this, we must realize that the old covenant was physical. The new covenant is spiritual. There are multiple scriptures that explain this:

1Co 15:46-47, Rom 5:14, Heb 11:19, Col 2:16-17, 1 Cor. 10:1-11, Heb 8:4-5, Heb 9:8-9, Heb 10:1.

The Old Testament law, the tabernacle, and the Old Testament stories (accounts of people, their lives, and their interactions with God) while real and true – are all symbolic of spiritual realities. The entire Old Testament points to and explains Jesus Christ. 

For example, God blessed the people of the Old Testament with physical items such as livestock, lands, and physical goods. These were all a sign of God’s blessing during the Old Testament. The New Testament reward is spiritual in nature. We are blessed with the indwelling of the Holy Spirit, the church, eternal life and the priesthood of the believer. Of course, the Lord may still bless us with physical things as a Christian, but the gift of eternal life and the love of Christ in our hearts is exceedingly more valuable than any physical thing.

On Earth, as it is in Heaven

Mat 6:10 “Your kingdom come. Your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven.”

This verse is taken from what we call “The Lord’s prayer”. It is a part of Jesus’ response when He was asked, “teach us to pray”. When the Lord was teaching His disciples to pray in the verse above, He was not giving them orders to take over the Roman government with Christian political influence. When the Lord’s will is done in the hearts of men, His kingdom comes on earth, where men live and walk. When we love and forgive each other, the Lord’s kingdom comes. When we overcome sin in our lives, the Lord’s kingdom comes. When we preach the good news and make disciples of Jesus, His kingdom comes on Earth.

Mat 6:33 “But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.”

Notice how Jesus separates what is the kingdom and what is not. Although physical needs will be added to us as a result of seeking first His kingdom.

Luk 17:20-21 “And when he was demanded of the Pharisees, when the kingdom of God should come, he answered them and said, The kingdom of God cometh not with observation: Neither shall they say, Lo here! or, lo there! for, behold, the kingdom of God is within you.”

Dominion theology erroneously teaches that the kingdom of God comes on earth through physical or natural means (which includes societal laws, influence, and culture). On the contrary, the territory for God’s kingdom to come and take over is inside individual people, as Jesus states above in Luke 17. When a person has Jesus Christ living inside of them, that person will manifest the ways of Christ outwardly in the physical realm. But the physical manifestations are not the kingdom of God, they are only the effects of Christ being in someone.

Dominion theology strives to make the United States a Christian nation. Many might even say that the U.S. is a Christian nation and it was founded on Christian principles by Godly men. Perhaps we should at least consider the events that took place in England in the actual forming of the US – in light of scriptural instruction as it relates to governmental authority. 

There is no such thing as a Christian nation. A group of Christians is called a church. The scripture never tells Christians in various nations to try to make the physical country they live in, into a Christian nation. Remember, we are seeking a different country, a heavenly one. As Hebrews speaks of Abraham:

Heb 11:9-10 “By faith he lived as an alien in the land of promise, as in a foreign land, dwelling in tents with Isaac and Jacob, fellow heirs of the same promise; for he was looking for the city which has foundations, whose architect and builder is God.”

Of the Church, Peter quotes the words of God:

1Pe 2:9 “But you are A CHOSEN RACE, A royal PRIESTHOOD, A HOLY NATION, A PEOPLE FOR God’s OWN POSSESSION, so that you may proclaim the excellencies of Him who has called you out of darkness into His marvelous light;”

If Christians are supposed to be given to politics and bringing about change through government and political leaders, there would be much more instruction in the New Testament telling us to do so. There are only a very few verses that address the political arena, instructing us to show honor and pray for those in authority – so that our lives will be peaceful.

In the book, “The Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire”, Edward Gibbon states that the early Christians “took no part in the civil administration of the empire”. Phillip Schaff wrote in “The History of the Christian Church”, that the early Christians had “a disregard for politics and depreciation of all civil and temporal affairs as compared with the spiritual and eternal interests of men”.  

Perhaps these historical claims are true, perhaps they are not perfectly accurate. Ultimately, each person must use the objectivity of the Bible and the help of the Holy Spirit to guide their convictions.  

Luk 5:16 “But Jesus Himself would often slip away to the wilderness and pray.”

Most Christians would probably agree that setting aside daily time to just be with God and do nothing else is an important event. Time alone with God is a time to connect with Jesus, our source of life and love. It’s a time to allow all of the busyness and distractions of life to fade away.

Reading scripture can be a good activity to spend time with God. If we are using the scripture as a diving board to trust the Lord and commune with Him, it is a good practice. Often though, the reading of scripture becomes another mental activity, resulting in only more pondering of concepts and theologies, without any true connection with Christ Himself.  

Many Christians have no conviction of trying to be still before God and truly connect with Him, they are quite content with “believing the truth”, whether they connect with Jesus or not. Many others have decided that being busy is “just the way it is”, and they have given up on trying to really connect with Christ in the inner man in a deep way.  

As I’ve discussed the activity of having time alone with God with other Christians, I frequently hear a common hindrance. “I just can’t seem to get my brain to stop”.  Or, “I get so distracted when I try to focus on God and just be with Him”.

A busy mind is the result of a busy heart. The thoughts you have in your mind and the feelings you experience in your emotions all come from the much deeper place. Trying to stop your mind from being busy without dealing with the inner man, is a losing battle. It would be like trying to repair a leaking faucet by putting tape around the leak. No matter how much tape you use and no matter how hard you try to stop the water, it’s going to keep coming out. We must deal with the deeper problem. 

How do we remedy a busy mind, which is actually a busy heart?

Let me explain it like this: When my children were younger, my wife and I used to take them to a pizza restaurant that had an arcade game room. One of the games my kids loved to play was what they called the “pop-up game”. The pop-up game had a large, soft mallet the player would hold in his hands. On the game board, there were about 8 holes that a little wooden character would “pop-up” from. The player’s job was to hit the wooden pop-up character with the mallet as soon as it popped up. The problem was, as soon as you hit the wooden pop-up character, another one would pop up from a different place on the board. The faster you would hit them, the faster they came out. You simply couldn’t win.

The busy heart and mind are much the same way. You can’t win. The more you try to quiet and still the heart, the more distracted it becomes. What is the solution? The solution is not to play.

While my kids were feverishly trying to beat this impossible game, I peacefully sat on the bench behind them observing the whole event with a peaceful grin.  If you wrestle with the flesh according to the rules of the flesh you will lose every time. The secret is to go to a different place that has different rules.

Trying to stop your mind from being busy only produces more busyness. If you try to stop your mind from being busy, now you become busy trying to get your mind to stop (I write from experience). The only way to win the game, is to not play the game. Instead of “trying” to get your mind to stop its busyness, you must take a different approach.  

Let’s focus on the word “realization”. To realize something, means that you become aware something is real. You are not trying to make it real; you simply realize it is ALREADY real. If you were to become aware that there is a pair of socks on your feet right now, you would realize that you are wearing socks right now. Before you realized that you were wearing socks, you were not aware of it, but you were still wearing socks none the less. The fact that you realized it, did not make it true. It was true, whether you realized it or not.
This is how faith works. Faith is realizing what is already true. It is having conviction of things you cannot see.  And, this is a major key in curing the dilemma of the busy and distracted mind.

Trying to connect with God is difficult. Trying to get your mind and heart to stop from being distracted is nearly impossible. But realizing what is already true in the Kingdom of God is easily accomplished.

Let’s go back to our pop-up game illustration. If our goal was to find peace and quiet, yet these stupid pop up things keep popping up, our natural tendency would be to keep hitting them with the mallet to make them all stay down. Our inclination is to think, “If I can just get them to stop popping up, then I can rest”.

-“Only when I get all of my problems taken care of, can I find peace”.
-“When everything is perfect, then I will trust God.”
-“When I get the noise to stop, then I can hear from the Lord”.

The noise will never stop. Everything will never be perfect. You will always have problems. The pop-up game will NEVER stop.  

Jesus says, “…each day has enough trouble of its own”. –Mat. 6:34

Instead of getting everything solved, everything fixed, and your mind to stop being busy…simply focus your attention on another place. Realize and becomeaware that all is well, even in the midst of noise and distraction. Instead of hitting all the pop-ups, focus your attention on the peaceful bench in the corner of the room. Sit down and your find your peace in the middle of the arcade. Ignore your desire to correct everything, to fix everything, to solve what is troubling you. Ignore your desire to hit the pop-ups. Doing that will only produce more trouble.

How do we engage in faith and quiet our busy hearts? Simply realize and become aware that you are already loved. You are loved by God if you are aware of it or not. Realize that you have already been cleansed by the blood of His cross. Focus your attention on being aware that you already have God’s heart of kindness pouring out toward you. Realize that everything has already been finished, there is nothing else that you can do become more righteous.  It is the blood of Jesus and the grace of God that makes you right with Him and nothing else (Heb. 11:6, Gal. 2:16, 2 Ti. 1:9, Eph. 2:9, Rom. 4:2). 

Nothing has happened or will happen, the God has not allowed.

If you give yourself to realizing what is already true, what has already been accomplished for you, and stop trying to “have time with God”; you will suddenly realize that you are connecting and fellowshipping with our wonderful Savior much more easily.

If Jesus Christ were to physically walk into the room you are currently in at this very moment, and He were to say to you, “Stop everything you are doing and come follow me down the highway”. Would you do it?

You would not be allowed to go home to see your spouse and communicate your plans. You couldn’t stop at the bank to grab some extra cash. You couldn’t notify your job that you will need to have some time off. Drop everything, right now, and follow Jesus – no plan, with no idea of where you were going, and with no idea how long you will be gone.

If you were to follow Him down the highway right now in this very moment, for how long would you do this? What about sleeping arrangements for tonight? What if you had to miss a few meals? At some point, would you say, “enough of this misery, I need to get back home”. 
 
I’ve asked this question to Christians over this last month. It has been a difficult request for some.

I’ve also asked a different question to many Christians in the last month:

“Has there ever been a time in your life, when you’ve given up everything to follow Christ?”

Four different Christians have told me, “No, I’ve never given up everything completely. I’ve always held back at least some area of my life for myself”.

These are people that attend church regularly and are trying to live for God.

There is a huge deception in the church today.  It is the deception that says, in order to be a saved Christian, God wants me to do certain things and avoid doing other things. This is incorrect.

In order to be saved, you must believe on Jesus Christ.

Act 16:30-31 “and after he brought them out, he said, “Sirs, what must I do to be saved?” They said, “Believe in the Lord Jesus, and you will be saved, you and your household.”

Eph 2:8 “For by grace you have been saved through faith; and that not of yourselves, it is the gift of God;

If being saved from hell, judgement, and the wrath of God is determined by whether or not you have faith and you believe Jesus, then I recommend you really understand what it means to believe. 

What does it mean to believe Jesus Christ? How do you know you truly believe Jesus Christ?

Let’s look at 2 separate verses.

Rom 10:9-10 “that if you confess with your mouth Jesus as Lord, and believe in your heart that God raised Him from the dead, you will be saved; for with the heart a person believes, resulting in righteousness, and with the mouth he confesses, resulting in salvation.

In this verse we see that if you believe Jesus in your heart and you confess Him as Lord, you will be made righteous and you will be saved. Believing Him and Him being Lord – both go together.

Mar 1:16-18 “As He was going along by the Sea of Galilee, He saw Simon and Andrew, the brother of Simon, casting a net in the sea; for they were fishermen. And Jesus said to them, “Follow Me, and I will make you become fishers of men.” Immediately they left their nets and followed Him.

These disciples believed Jesus. Therefore, they followed Him. If you truly believe Jesus Christ, He will be Lord of your entire life.
 
Mat 8:21-22 Another of the disciples said to Him, “Lord, permit me first to go and bury my father.” But Jesus said to him, “Follow Me, and allow the dead to bury their own dead.”

If you believe Jesus and He is Lord of your life, you will follow Him, right now.   

• To believe Jesus results in you presenting yourself and yielding your entire self before Him.

• To believe Jesus results in you giving up all control to Him, in every area of your life.

• To believe on the Lord Jesus is to give up all of your personal rights and all of your personal opinions.

• To believe Jesus means that there is no area of your life that belongs to you. You trust your life completely into His care and leadership.

• To believe Jesus is to give Him a blank check and let him fill in anything He wants.

• To believe Him is to say “Yes” before you even know what He is asking or requiring.
   
• To believe Him is to trust Him.

Would you follow Him right now down the highway? If you believed Him, you would.

Trying to live for God and do all the right things, while you stay in control is a deception. Keeping back some of your life for yourself, while you mostly are a good person, is not believing Jesus.

It was the knowledge of good and evil, while being independent of God, that killed Adam and Eve spiritually. Trying to do the right thing, while not completely surrendering to the Lordship of Jesus is worthless.

This is why many Christians are empty and in a state of misery. They have sacrificed much, but they have not died. There is only fullness of joy in fullness of death. Once we come to the place of total trust, where we have nothing left, only then have we died completely, only then have we believed on the Lord Jesus Christ.    

Does this mean that we must live a perfect life without sin, in order to be saved? No. Jesus died to pay for all of your sins. But we do not intend to sin, ever again. And if we do stop following Him at any point, we come back to our senses, and we resume following Him again.  

As followers of Christ, we must renew our belief and faith in Him not only daily, but multiple times a day. This includes believing in His payment for our sins. We must sign up over and over again throughout the day to believe and therefore follow Christ. This is what the Bible calls, “walking after the Spirit”. The Lord Jesus IS the Spirit (2 Cor. 3:17). 

What is Jesus requiring of you right now? Everything. Believe Him and receive His great love He has for you.  
   
John 6:66-69 “As a result of this many of His disciples withdrew and were not walking with Him anymore.  So Jesus said to the twelve, “You do not want to go away also, do you?” Simon Peter answered Him, “Lord, to whom shall we go? You have words of eternal life. “We have believed and have come to know that You are the Holy One of God.”

It is impossible for you to produce the fruit of the Spirit. The fruit of the Spirit is the fruit…of the Spirit. It is not the fruit of you or anything that your flesh can create or imitate. All you can do is first recognize that the qualities of God’s Spirit are true, and then yield to Him. You are not kind – only God is kind. You have no joy – only God is joy. You have no patience – only God is patient. You have no love – only God is love. Your flesh can and will try to mimic the fruit of the Spirit. It will try to act kind, force patience, and replicate kindness. It will try to love, but the flesh’s love is only a sentimental, self-serving love. Your flesh will try to treat others with kindness in order to “produce an effect” in the other person and make them feel loved so that you can be said to be loving. The flesh will attempt to act kind or loving as to relieve itself of its own guilt, because you “should” be loving.  When a truth goes from your head to your heart, you are going from a concept in your brain to the reality of what is already true in your spirit. You are moving from an idea about something to an experiential reality that you are seeing, tasting, and touching. You are moving from wanting something to be true to what is true. You are moving from “wanting to be” into “being.” You are moving from trying into having. You are moving from concept, to spirit, where it is a reality.  Only in your spirit (where you have been joined to Christ’s Spirit), will you see and taste the reality of Jesus Christ and who you are in Christ. The life of God is in you. He lives in the spirit of every born-again believer. The only way to break free from the prison of your flesh is to find the Spirit. The Spirit is the life of another – Jesus Christ.

One of the very first Christian meetings I’d ever attended during the 1980’s was with a room full of people literally crying out to the Lord to bring “revival”. “Oh God, PLEASE send your Spirit”, they said. “Lord, if you would only fill us with your Spirit!” I distinctly remember one brother saying, “Oh God, we are BEGGING you to PLEASE send your Spirit upon us!” And they were really begging. Truly begging. Some were desperately yelling at the top of their lungs for God to do something in their midst.

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The Christian life is normally a life of peace, love, and unity with God and in relationships in the church. But if you have been a Christian for very long, especially if you have been a part of a close knit group of saints sharing church life together, more than likely you have not always experienced total peace in all relationships.

It is not uncommon for many Christians to have been a part of disunity, divisions, hurt feelings, and separation in the church. Obviously, we know that Satan is the source for the destruction of relationships in the church. Ultimately we know that our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the powers of darkness (Eph. 6:12). But how does Satan work in order to cause divisions and broken relationships? How can we expose this and guard against it? What can be learned from the widespread damage that constantly occurs in Christian fellowships?
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